Giant Sings The Blues

by Spanish Love Songs

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1.
Bad Day 01:35
Hilltops covered in smog and I can't breathe for what's felt like weeks. Held together with duct tape, but soggy like paper mache. I'll smile and say that I know everything's okay. I can't shake this feeling like I'm gonna die today. Another day where I hate everything. My arm gets sunburned sticking out of my window on the 5. Praying for the two week winter, or an earthquake to devour us all whole. But what do I know? Except I'm sick of staying up 'til 4am and thinking every siren's heading straight into my living room when I'm getting high with Justin. I hate the way I live indoors. I hate that no one listens. I hate the way that I don't care, but I hate everything. It's a Bright Day. It's such a Bright Day.
2.
Here I stand I'm a broken man starting over again. There you are an anxious girl. It's you against the world. But I know you. There you go pop another pill. It's how you get your thrills. We drink until we both go numb. I'm not the only one who knows to not feel anything at all. You told me never change. You said it'd be okay. Run away. I can only keep you safe. I can't seem to give you what you need. You and I go insane for days. We'll never change our ways. Cause you and I are the nervous type. We'll never turn out right. But I only care about you. You're the gun pointed at my chest. Can I count on it? I'm the place that you fear the most. Won't you please just come back home? Back where you belong? You told me never change. You said it'd be okay. Knowing very well you'd leave eventually. Run away. I can only keep you safe. I can't seem to give you what you need. Now past flames engulf your heart and head these days. No one will ever give you what you need. Do you sleep better now With stronger pills and a stable man? Does he whisper Catherine in your ear as you're falling asleep in our bed? Will you sleep better now? Cause I don't sleep better now. No one will ever give you what you need.
3.
Concrete 03:15
Let's take a drive down Vermont to where the city meets the third world in a Ralph's parking lot. You can watch from your side of the car. We can hate everything that we see: Desperation, and undying love; a city block of misery, but they are no more miserable than me. We're so sick of being alone, but we have a hard time together sometimes. We're gonna both die alone if you can't get happy. "If every relationship ends up cold like a fire that has burnt out in the night, I don't want one, I want them all. It's the only way I'll ever feel right." So move on from our moment. There's more happy waiting up ahead in the face of your old, new man. I'm pretty sure that he's French or something. I'll wander 'round the neighborhood at 3am looking for the names that we left in the concrete. Or was it our initials? With a heart as an outline? Well they could be anybody's these days. "If every relationship ends up cold like a star that has burnt out in the sky, I don't want you. I want them all." Did you think that I was bad news? Did you think that I would hurt you? Never thought that you were bad news. Never thought that you would hurt me too.
4.
Dying 02:58
I always see myself dying-- A void that I can't bring myself back from the edge of Lying alone in my apartment waiting to be found. Imagining a car crash, but it'll probably be a heart attack. And sometimes I wish that I could shoot up, and slowly disappear. I see myself fading out. Crushing disappointment of how I've wasted a quarter of a century worried about how much time I've been wasting. Imagine something greater than just being a waiter or a failure. And everyone since I was three has expected only the best of me. Stop me if you think I'm all wrong. Stay here if you could just lie to me through the night. Tell me I'm not doing it wrong. Even when I'm not doing anything right. I am child thrown in the deep end and I can't swim. I swear I'm a liar hanging on every word you lament. I think I'm a coward -- I wasted a year in your embrace. I'll stick my head in a microwave to try and rid myself of the taste.
5.
Mexico 04:31
I watch the preacher talking about marriage, and it's such an awful thing. I feel like that sad bastard is staring straight at me. My brother mentioned my failed marriage the night before he caught that plane. Like he was guilty. Like it would kill to relate. I'm getting drunk alone after this wedding, in a room full of friends. My date looks horrible with her lips painted red. I don't want to see my family. I just want to crawl back into bed. And get called an asshole when I get lost in my head again. It's what I do every time. It's nothing new. I'll wait for disaster to come around again. It's called waiting for you. While my family says, "We're waiting for the sun to come out on that rain cloud over you." And now my brother's lost in Mexico, and the other one is high and driving to San Diego with his girlfriend to start their new life. Everyone's got someone they can show off or hide. Except lonely me when I'm afraid to go out at night. Or show my face. The world doesn't need me. I'll wait for disaster to come around again. It's called waiting for you. While my family says, "We're waiting for the sun to come out on that black hole over you."
6.
Vermont 03:36
You told me happiness is just a moment from the steps of your Victorian apartment. We sat outside. The air was broken and summer was barging in. The homeless lady pushed her shopping carts, and your neighbors played mariachi music until 4 am. You said, "When this one passes I should probably walk away." "Because I'm gonna leave you the first chance I get. I'm a black hole. Empty and dead. You can carve your name in stone, but it's just not permanent." But you told me you think you loved me, when you collapsed on the floor of your room. After you told me to leave, in that moment, I realized I was sure I loved you too. Now I'm always putting out fires with my bare hands, until two black stumps are all that remain. I don't think my feeble heart's enough to blanket these growing flames. You can drop me at the hospital. I'll OD on morphine and dream about you, as my heart seizes one more time before you go. Then I'll probably wake up alone and be alone forever. With an itch on my back that I cannot scratch. In the shape of your heart. Forever. Everybody leaves. Everybody leaves eventually. Everybody breaks. Bends to late. Nobody's happy. You'll never be happy this time, when it's your heart on the line. Take a step back -- who would really want to fall in love? Now it all plays out and the way you call me "babe" dies with every other nickname. I have so many nicknames I can't keep track anymore. I'll bury them in bourbon and half-smoked cigarettes, as we come to an end. Or to an understanding I don't want to understand. Because everybody leaves. Everybody leaves eventually. Everybody breaks. Bends too late. And no one is happy. You'll never be happy this time, when it's my heart on the line. "If I can't love you, why would you ever love me back? I can't love you, why would you ever love me back? Dylan I don't know how to love you anymore, so please don't love me back."
7.
Friends 04:11
Found out I was far from perfect. You walked out of my life because I'm never gonna change. Made my way to the bottom of this empty town home. Where I hid myself away. It's the only way to escape When I want to get away. You are bad news most days. That's what my brain says. Screamed out I'm such an awful shit. You say I'm such a hypocrite, and that's exactly how I'll stay. Millimeters gap into a mile. I feel myself poured out as bad news, the burden of a name. But you never took my name. Did you want to run away? I am a monster these days. That's what your friends say. Can I be this miserable now? I fall apart when I'm off by myself. But who is gonna love you now? My love is buried with my ideals. Buried with your shallow heart that's sprouted wings and flown. Found out I never loved anyone. Anyone is perfect. I think I'll die alone.
8.
Remainder 04:21
Had the feeling that we were due for bad news. Six months away before we knew that no good was ever coming through. I burnt down the house for you. Took my shit out of your room. Kissed my dog goodbye, "I guess it's time to move." My things on the lawn in the heat. September stayed so warm and your sweat tasted sweet. It's the last time I held you complete. The last family on the street. The only time we meet -- you're not alone. All things in mind, I couldn't be better, than times that I've denied myself my happiness. All things considered, I come out the remainder left alone without my whole. So where'd you go? Now I stay indoors on my throne, and I talk to myself. Pray that you haven't flown. And I'll reap what I have sown because I'm just a fucked up kid who dreams of dying alone. Moving in on miserable from rings and beds I took for granted. Feels like I am barely here. Seven years that never happened. Giving up on loving things, except maybe for my new family. Hold myself up for display: "Everything just brings me down today."
9.
Stranger 05:36
Woke up older in my new home. The side of my bed looks like a ghost. Where nothing as good as love will ever grow. And I consoled the empty walls. Their loneliness is all my fault because I'm the only one who wastes away 'round here. Content to hang. Peeled back the bandage again to find the wound I'm nursing, it ain't healed right. Still full of stink. Still full of those sad things I'll never hide. All your boxes stacked to my teeth as remainders of the shitty life you'd never lead. It still hurts. It still kills though I knew you'd be the one to leave. I will buy you a new house. Move you and your things in. We can sit across the table, new to fuck things up again. We'll kiss like strangers. We'll love blind. Be givers and takers. All won't be right. And I won't be your family anymore.
10.
Bright Day 03:27
Wrote these words down four years ago, and sang them so many times they don't make fucking sense anymore Or add up at all-- Like closed captioned lines on a TV show in my dentist's waiting room where I go to get a tooth pulled. I'd say the rot's still the same. Sang about too many morning times. I think I named too many streets. And relied on the pronoun "you." Always relied too much on you. Made it home after the sunrise for the first time in a lifetime. And it's a bright day. Dreaming I crashed my car for fun, Trying to make it off the 101 and back home to you. Back when I had a home with you. Now I live in a crack den. Pray for some art on the walls and some sheets that aren't dark grey. And a little fucking heat. But that pilot burnt out years ago, So I'll just wait for the sun, and hope it's a bright day. Buried beneath my sunglasses, If you can't see me, you can't touch me. And nobody's hopeless. But nobody's happy. Nobody wins. Hit my bed before the sunrise, for the first time in forever. I can't sleep. Because it's a bright day.

credits

released March 25, 2015

Spanish Love Songs - Dylan Slocum (Guitar and Vocals), Kyle McAulay (Guitar), Gabe Mayeshiro (Bass), and Ruben Duarte (Drums)

Produced by Kyle McAulay and Dylan Slocum

Engineered and Mixed by Kyle McAulay
Additional Engineering by Patrick Kehrier

Mastered by Gentry Studer

Artwork by Justin Witmer / Caosago Artworks
Album Photography by Clay Barnes

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Spanish Love Songs Los Angeles, California

5 piece punk rock band from Los Angeles California.

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